Which Reality

I had a coworker ask me today, if I sometimes think about just packing up and leaving. And the honest answer is, yes. Sometimes, in the middle of hardship and struggle, the easiest thing to do would be to pack up and go. Then he asked me why I haven't yet, what keeps me from actually doing it? I took a minute to look at myself and what I see as my reality: the struggles, my own failures in the practical things and in my character, my lack of qualification, the frustrations and disappointments. But David, the author of the Psalms, says it perfectly; I lift my eyes up to the hills, where my help comes from, from the Lord Almighty. This is a physical and spiritual action. Lifting up our eyes from the situations and hardships to look at the One who makes us walk on the stormy oceans of our lives. When our gaze falters, we will of course begin to drown in the overwhelming circumstances around us. My answer was what it could only be: because I know this is where God has asked me to be. This friend is not a christian, not religious, and probably had no idea that just by asking me these questions, he helped me to stand again on what I know is true. This season is one where I have to tell myself the truth over and over and over and over again, a season where the lies come too fast, and my heart struggles to tune them out. But my spiritual father said something to me the other day that stuck with me: it says in the Bible to "take every thought CAPTIVE." That doesn't say that those thoughts that torment us and keep us trapped in cycles of condemnation and shame will just disappear, or that they will never return to us. It says we are to bind it, to put it back in prison where it belongs, and to take authority back from it, every time that they escape from their jail cell. Some seasons, this needs to happen every 5 minutes, some seasons  The struggle between being real and vulnerable, and throwing ourselves a pity party, is huge. This is such a thing for my generation, that when anything becomes too difficult, or we see ourselves inadequate, we give up and walk away. But when we look at things through another perspective, through the eyes of the one who actually sees the real reality, through God's vision for our lives, things become so clear. It doesn't mean that the whole way will be lit up, and all the signs pointing the direction at every turn. But it does mean that we have a hope in Him who will never change, a foundation built on the truth of who He is, and a peace the goes beyond our understanding. And the last thing that has been on my heart and mind, I read in John 15 today, and in verse 3,  Jesus says "already you are clean because of the word I have spoken to you." His word, intimacy with Him, makes us clean already. If we could only walk in Him, understanding that He is making us whole by just listening to His word, we would be very different people. I was reading a little bit about the Jewish history of baptism, because we have such a modernized understanding of what that is now. What i found was that for the Judaism, it was known as immersion. This was done before religious festival, after a woman gave birth, and even for dead bodies before burial. It was a spiritual symbol of washing away the old to begin a new process. It was done by oneself, so as to completely be immersed, without help or being held by the priest. Just as cloth needs to be soaked in die without being held so that it can fully take on its new colour. With this in mind, we need to be baptized in the Spirit continually, to be immersed in him in each new season, covered from head to toe with the new, and no longer holding on to the old. This is not my normal monthly update, but I couldn't put anything else down into words. I hope it is encouraging for someone, that in each hardship we pass through, giving up is not an option, because our hope is in Him. Lift your eyes.